We Have to Feel It to Heal It!

We may not all admit it or even be aware of it, but at one time or another, all of us have used food as means of coping with life. Whether is it high-pressured jobs, long commutes, lay-offs, the economy, a fight with our significant other, not having an significant other, missing our significant other, our kids, our parents, feeling that there is never enough or that it is all too much – hundreds of situations can send us running to the cupboards or the fast-food joints. Once there, we anesthetize ourselves with quasi-foods, all in an effort to either not feel or to feel sick so that we can feel something besides our true feelings. 

No matter how much we learn about nutrition and mindful eating, it is difficult to apply the knowledge to our lives when we are struggling with disordered eating. And, the fact of the matter is that when we eat because of how we feel rather than because we are physically hungry, we have an eating disorder. When we deny ourselves food and nourishment based on what we think or what we feel or don’t want to think or don’t want to feel, we are suffering from an eating disorder. Chances are if you are bulimic or anorexic, you have figured that out. You may have even figured out that your relationship with food is unhealthy. You may even know that you are in a destructive downward spiral of anxiety and self-loathing that will be very hard to break down on your own. Knowing that a habit is unhealthy is not enough, recovery happens when we take action to understand a behavior’s function and release it. 

To understand our choice to use binge eating or food restriction as a coping mechanism, we have to examine our thoughts and our true feelings. Often, it is the avoidance of those very thoughts and honest feelings that led us to our food abuse of choice. Thus, examination will not be easy, but it is the only way to release an eating disorder’s destructive grasp. We have to feel it to heal it. Not feed it, FEEL IT. Again, we have to feel it to heal it. When an emotion is triggered or comes up, it is for a reason and that reason is that it (the emotion) wants to be released. When we choose to push it down with binge eating or denying it by withholding food, the feeling grows. Much like a spring that gathers more force when it is pushed down, so too are our emotions when we push them down or deny them.

Most of us are so used to forcing ourselves. Remember, it may take time to learn how to be gentle but direct with yourself. You can be loving with yourself and still hold yourself accountable. Establishing healthy behavior patterns helps release sabotaging emotions. Healthy patterns of behavior can be established by investing in your physical and emotional well-being. Find healthy coping mechanisms that will help you alter some of your daily habits and behaviors and learn how to care for and pamper yourself in ways that are life-affirming, not self-destructive. You may want to seek out a friend, a spiritual guide, an eating disorder counselor or treatment center such as Rebecca’s House to help guide you through the feelings to release and healing. Immersion in a healing environment can open inner doors and make it possible to face issues in a strong container of love, mercy and safety.

This is the year, this is the month, THIS is the day that we move from resolutions to solutions. We are going to flex our courage muscles and truly face our deepest, darkest thoughts, hurts, fears, and feelings to heal our damaged emotions and right our relationship with food.

Rebecca’s House is available 24 hours a day at 1 (800) 711-2062. We can help you assess your situation, discuss the right level of care for you and help you through the decision to get the help you need. Be sure to connect with us on Twitter and Facebook!