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Eating Disorders and Stuffing Your Feelings

“Nobody Can make you feel inferior without your consent”

- Eleanor Roosevelt.

Some people try to control their feelings. The way they usually do this is to resist, ignore, reject or repress them, medicate them by way of precriptions or drug or alcohol use, eating disorders or food other other distrating behaviors. Repressing your feelings does not usually eliminate them and trying to hide your feelings or emotions becomes a struggle. As the suppressed emotions build, we have to fight to stay in control. Repressed feelings can motivate much of our eating disorder behavior. 

Some of us have used food and obsessive thoughts for dieting, our weight, and our body image so often that we don’t even know how to label a feeling. A feeling may surface, and we immediately replace it with food, action, obsessive thoughts, etc. The ways we repress feelings are many and we call them defenses. Each defense prevents us from knowing what we are actually feeling. 

Sometimes we have the false belief that we can control events or people, However, most of us have a hard time controlling ourselves, much less someone else. We get so caught up in the final outcome and making that outcome happen. We lose ourselves in a frantic attempt to control. Our whole focus is on controlling the person or event. On the other hand, some of us give our power away. We let someone else control our lives, make all our decisions, and speak for us. They may heavily influence the self we present to the world. After a while we don’t know where they end and we begin. We lose our self. We also lose our ability to enjoy our life journey and be in the present. 

Manipulation can be summoned up as the covert actions we take to get what we want without being direct. This is especially true if our assertiveness skills are lacking. This can take a lot of energy. If we are constantly manipulating our world we don’t have the time or energy to look at ourselves. On the other hand we can also be manipulated by others if we don’t have a sense of self or of our needs. If we are not connected to our feelings we may not know that we’re being manipulated. Not being aware of this manipulation can make us feel crazy, since someone else is directing your life. You feel like a puppet. If your life is full of manipulation there is no room or time for your internal guidance system to grow. 

I will continue this article in my next blog post and connect the dots as how this relates to many eating disorders and disordered eating.

Authored by Rebecca Cooper for Gurze Books:


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