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The Passing of One Year and the Encroachment of Another

Thanksgiving has come and gone and my thoughts like most everyone’s are turned towards the year’s remaining holidays. I am Jewish, my husband is Christian. The Jewish New Year was in September and I have to admit that with my NaNa’s illness and ultimate passing, instead of reading from the book of life, I was consuming my life with reliving her death.

With the passing of one year and the encroachment of another, I am craving renewal. More recently, I have been praying, eating according to my needs, working my steps, talking to my sponsor and being real with my husband. I have also been feeling a core need for cleansing and moving forward. Through the steps I know that in order to move forward, I must release the chains of the past that I have allowed to wreak havoc on my life in every way.

Perhaps it is influenced by the wonderful Thanksgiving with my husband’s family or perhaps I am just ready for this step, but I have been thinking about my dad a lot. While some of my thoughts are him in particular, the majority of the thoughts are wondering if my ED is related to his alcoholism or my mother’s insistence on being thin. Are my meals unbalanced because as a child they were planned or rather unplanned based on the time that he either came home or did not. Do I carefully plan my nutrition like my mother would for him only to reject it as he did? Do I insist on being skinny because she felt that being thin meant sexy and that would make him come home? I have only begun to ask the questions. It will take a great many prayers, conversations and real work to find the answers. I am going to keep a journal of the process and I invite you along for the ride. Please keep your arms and feet in at all times and heed all other precautions but you are welcome to scream because it won’t always be pretty. And remember objects are rarely as they appear.

Precautions: Visit , follow us Twitter and like our Facebook page. The ride may still have a few bumps in it but you don’t have to go it alone.


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