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That's Just the Way It Is

Well, I may not be the most educated guy, before this week, I didn’t know what a blog was. But I was asked to share my story and told that it might help. So I am going to give it a try. I am a black man, a businessman, former football player, a son, a husband, a father and a bulimic. I guess like anyone, there is a lot to my story. I don’t find it easy to share because I was always taught be “strong” be “a man”. My grandparents were slaves and my parents were taught never to show feeling, “to suck it up” because feelings let the white man win. They were ignorant particularly because they did not talk about things to themselves much less someone else. My parents thus taught me to keep my emotions inside, to push them down and never cry because that is what they learned from their parents. I say this not so as to blame anybody but so that you will know how I came to be and understand the struggles to get to where I am.

Anyways, I have been going through the steps to find a better way of living cause the way I have been doing it isn’t working. I have come to realize that so many of us have been sold, not told. By that I mean that we are sold the fact that if we just keep our mouths shut, if we just keep pushing our feelings down, if we just keep going everything will be okay or “that’s just the way it is”. When the truth is we all need to be told that it is okay to talk about things, that if we don’t those same things will come back at us one way or another and that things don’t have to continue the way they are, there is a better way. The way my ignorance came through was by way of my issues around food. More specifically, I would make myself reject my food. I put that sentence in the past tense but the truth is I can’t promise I won’t vomit tomorrow but I can promise I will do my best today and I will continue to work on the reasons I reject food as soon as I accept it.

I think the saying is “when you know better, you do better”. I can’t say I know much but I am learning and each day I do my best to do better. Part of that is talking to people or writing I guess it would be in this case. So, if you will permit me, I will share some of my story over the next few bogs. If anyone can benefit from what I have gone through, then it is all worth it.

Visit to follow Jim’s blog or learn the steps to ED recovery and a better way of living day by day.


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